blah

Jonathan didn't reject me. =) His account was hacked. Wahahahaha. I'm currently hooked to watching Honey and Clover. I like Hagumi. She's so cute and talented. Super arty-farty. The story takes place in an art college. So arty-farty. I love the music too. So mellow, so nice. I was never so crazy in any anime...until now. I'm gonna say chinese sucks. I needa do so many letter writing. There's a lot of homework during the weekend. But I can't stop watching Honey and Clover. This is bad. There's so many stuff to abstain from. Aaaaah.

Nobody Knows

jonathan

I think I'm gonna vote for Jonathan Leong next week. We can't afford to lose talents like him man. Although I would prefer something next week other than those rock ballads. But whatever he sings is nice lah. I don't understand why teachers like to scare us by telling how many days there are to blah blah blah. I've grown immune to all that already. it used to scare me. But now..it doesn't. Time does run out. It's not as if I don't know you don't know. Cos it's something we ALL know. I mean if the teachers wanna scare us they could actually leave longer intervals between the scares. Or else it's like totally useless. Totally is a slang. So it's like extremely useless. Aha. I just got to know from my mother that my relatives used to think that I was autistic cos I didn't like to talk to eeky adults like my relatives. I wouldn't call myself autistic cos autistic kids have talent. But i don't seem to have any. I still remember when I was young I used to think of pills whenever they said medicine. Then this big erm..set of pills start appearing in my vision. And I used to love fruit cakes wrapped in plastic see-through wrappings. Cos they were usually given by my mom's gynecologist(dunno how to spell). I thought that lady was nice so I loved going to her clinics. I also like fruit cakes wrapped in aluminium foil. I don't know why but it just seems to taste better. Cakes wrapped in aluminium foil is really different. But I don't see any of these stuff nowadays. I didn't like Snow White cos she had short and black hair. Her hair was like permed. I didn't like it at all. I like Cinderella when she wasdoing chores cos her hair was being put down you see. I liked her dress at the ball but she bunned up her hair, so I didn't like her anymore. I like Belle (erhem) too but I didn't like her yellow dress. And Jasmine never struck a chord with me. So I like Sleeping Beauty best. =) I think all the handsome prince look the same lor. I like Ariel when she had legs and wore clothes and didn't have a tail for legs. I'm like talking about all the disney princesses. Did ya know Mulan was in the princess league too? I didn't know she was a princess, the person she married wasn't a prince. Or was it? Anyway if she's a princess, I like her more than Sleeping Beauty. I have a school bag with her huge face on it! This is like a extremely(totally) aimless entry.

lazy

Why do I procrastinate and be lazy? Why do I wanna slaughter my own future? Why I just can't bring myself to do anything productive? People say just do just study. Don't study is your fault. It's not as if woohoo~ I wanna study then I can concentrate and study. My mind is weak I think. Then people would say go make your mind strong. How? Should I give electric shocks to myself to make myself feel awake and alive? Do I need some table or chart to keep my goals in perspective? So what if it's written out? I just can't feel anything. It's as if I'm numb to what i'm supposed to feel.

changed skin

Finally another look. And now those radio blog tracks' colours look increasingly weird. Second week of school has ended. Six more weeks to prelims. I don't feel anything and that's scaring me. Cos I should feel as if woohoo~ I'm swept away by a storm or something. I realised I seldom read english books nowadays. The mostest place I get my english reading from is the entertainment section of the newspaper. And do you know that reading those music and movies review actually do help in your english? It helps you pick bombastic words you seldom see in boring passages you do in school. But a lazy person like me will never pick up a dictionary to find out teh meaning of the words and stuff. So I just use them whenever I like. Even though it may not be the correct meaning and go with what I'm expressing. And seriously, it doesn't help in my vocabulary cos my writing is so primary schoolish that no cheem words can be used. And my grammar sucks too. Vicki Loh keeps talking about grammar. Makes me feel even more primary schoolish with my writing. I don't even know simple grammar. And I'm taking the bloody o's marked by ang mohs with faces that requires botox and eyes that need that erm..lasik surgery. So I think they should be very erm..englishy. I my handwriting might drive them nuts. Unless englishy people write like that. Which I hope they do. It ain't easy to alter handwriting. I tried writing smaller with wider spacings but my hand seems to require more force to write lighter and smaller words. So I rather get all rough the paper. And maybe rip it apart if I can. I got no idea why I'm writing all these.

girl,interrupted

Just bought the Girl,Interrupted dvd yesterday. Stayed up to watch it till 330am. It's a fantastic movie and it's my first nc-16 movie that I bought myself. It's nc-16 becuase of the coarse language. But the only coarse words are f**k and a**hole. Yeah. The show is warm, scary and heart-breaking all at the same time. The story is about this girl named Susanna who gets into the mental institution because she attempted suicide and was diagnosed with the condition of borderline personality disorder or something like that. And there she met other people who became her friends. People mad and insane. But actually sometimes they aren't that mad at all.

Susanna: Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends and by the '70s most of them were out living lives. Some I've seen, some never again, but there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them.

The whole soundtrack is nice too. Nice 60s and 70s songs. I'll put one up here.

How to fight lonliness-Wilco
How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine your teeth to meaningless
And sharpen them with lies
And whatever is going down
Will you follow around
That's how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you'll ever need
That's how you fight it
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time