Kazakhstan

I've been watching the Asian Games recently. And I found Kazakhstan very interesting as it's fourth in ranking behind China, Japan and South Korea. I was wondering how did this coutry that is so unheard of is so powerful. The first time I heard of the coutry's name was when Borat appeared on the Europe video music awards. Borat claimed he was from Kazakhstan and that was how I know the country. He talks of Kazakhstan as if it was a small country with weird traditions. So when I saw Kazakhstan coming in fourth place I was rather puzzled. I was thinking if Kazakhstan is so powerful and "small", why Singapore could not do it too. I was so curious I decided to look up on info on KAZAKHSTAN. I found out the coutry is rather big and they have around 15 million people, so I figured that they had a larger talent pool to choose from so of course they are better compared to Singapore's 4 million, it's definitely harder to find real talents in that 4 million. But still, I'm still rather amazed by Kazakhstan. China is real good man, I heard their national anthem like dunno how many times and I heard much of Japan's anthem too. Is it illegal to give comments on national anthem? I think I better not.

Watching the asian games made me think a lot. Cos these atheletes especially those racing ones like the swimmers usually practise for years and only to put their years of effort in a test of let's say a few minutes or sometimes even less than a minute. That's like worse than having major examinations.

Spitz - Je t'aime

-

Life after O's is indeed boring. The person took off Honey and Clover season 2 from youtube. So far I watched a movie and dunno how many repeats of the Golden Horse Awards. I think the channel just put it in a repeating loop for days since it's so prestigious. I also discovered many cool movies through the awards ceremony that I think will never drift onto Singapore's shores. Those movies got excpetionally cool music and kinda strange titles. And Chang Chen's film was withdrawn from the awards those it was nominated for quite a few categories. The reason is that the film withdraw to show repsect for China or something. Taiwan and China still have conflicts till today man. The only Chinese person that turned up was Zhou Xun. Tsk tsk. And Taiwan only made it worse with having an extra category called the Formosa awards to honour the Taiwanese films but that was actually seen as a sign of their independence to China or something. Anyway, without those China-Taiwan drama. Taiwan is like drama enough with their leaders embezzling funds and stuff. Will I get sued for writing stuff like this? Never mind, I'll continue about Chang Chen. He appeared only for like 8 minutes or so. I watched intently for dunno how many hours to get a sight of him. He even wore sunglasses so I couldn't see the eyes at all, at least this time there is no Shuqi. Wahaha.I attempted packing my room. I threw all the worksheets and stuff. But my room still looks cluttered as ever. This time I didn't even hesitate to throw the papers yet efficiency is unseen. I thought I could get a job at Kinokuniya but all the positions are taken already. I gotta find other jobs. I got no money at all. Only some coins in my minnie mouse coin bank. I kept her in the cupboard. Her eyes are a little scary at times. It's minnie mouse man. But yeah. I wanna buy books, no money. I wanna borrow books, I owe the library fines. The fines total up to 7 dollars plus. Maybe I shall start reading books on Lee Kuan Yew and Mao Zedong cos those are like well displayed on my bookshelf and never in my life have I attempted to read a word of it before. My time has come... Oh ya. Let me share a fact with you, pratically all roles that Chang Chen got himself involved in are so erm.. erotic. He was a gay in a movie too.I got a feeling that every single movie he is in he is involved in a..how do you say it..a scene where he is involved in procreation or sexual exploitation. This actually restricts me to very little sightings of him.

The Dixie Chicks at the American Music Awards 2006

replies

I think maybe you all won't get to read this. But if I clogged the tag board with my replies it'll be hard to read lah. So here it goes..

peilin,cousin,i don't know what name to use: thanks for the skin compliments. =)

benj: everything is over.Ahahahaha. We like sure get 6 one lor. as if.

Chinyun: hey pretty, let's meet up someday eh? The four of us get together again ok?

Adeline: we've survived everything man.Hoho.

Fiona: i miss you too. look forward to see you on monday!

-

O's are finally over. I don't feel overly elated. I don't think anyone does. I have to get a job by the following week. I only have pocket money for the next week. After that no more money anymore. I'm like only working for one month and who would hire a person for one month? And prom is like next week. I got nothing for it at the moment. I gotta lose the fats. But my diet remains unchanged. I don't think I'll ever be anorexic at all in my whole life. It obviously doesn't pays. Gotta clear my room someday. Throw all those papers away. Recycle them. And re-arrange my stuff. I'll take weeks man. Since I'm so free I shall write about the intelligent John Mayer. John Mayer is a bloody genius, the way he talks, he sings, the way he play his guitar is like so cool. Yeah. End of my infatuation speech.

John Mayer - Heart of Life

Stop This Train

new skin

Woohoo. I was looking around for a skin. I know I shouldn't. But I really couldn't concentrate today. IT's like totally useless. The stacks of papers and worksheets in my room would take eons to arrange them in a pretty order, so I kinda gave up and stack all the papers in piles on the floor and my sofa. Now my table looks more spacious than before cos I just shifted the junk. Dear Cheryl, please be focused tomorrow, you've only got one more week to go and you'd accomplished nothing up to now. How bad can that be? Very bad. Watch yourself for goodness sake. Where did your dreams go to? Another planet? Get a grip on yourself. It's only one more month of tough work to go. I greatly appeal to you to heed my advice. I wish a clean up fairy would come to my house. And arrange all my bloody papers and place them in neat files or something. Anyways, I love my current skin cos 1. I can place youtube vids without clashing the layout or whatever. 2. It's food. Of course it is nice. =) 3.It looks yummy. 4. I feel like biting the monitor to indulge in this divine pastry. At least it looks divine on this red plate. 5. It's red. A bloody colour. =) Let me share something, I like Zhang Zhen, the guy from the current horror movie Silk. His name is always shown as Chang Chen in english. And Chang Chen is actually great wall. I find it increasingly funny the way they spelt his name. I doubt anyone would understand this "funny" fact. I laugh myself. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Marcie's laugh! After o's must clear up my library fines to read more snoopy comics. I want the strawberry cinammonroll with the strawberry scented sticker! I do eat happy meal. Happy meals make me estatic cos of the toys you see. And the toy happen to come with scented stickers you see and the more you scratch the smell is even stronger. And it's like this addictive thing to sniff it and indulge in that pleasant smell.
I think Agnes B. is cool. Ultra cool. I wanna be someone like her. So cool. Is she dead? Hmm. Shall find that out someday. Schubert had syphillis and he died eventually cos they thought he took the mercury treatment for his syphillis condition. So he died of mercury poisoning. From my contextual knowledge, syphillis is a sexually transmitted disease. Erhem.. Erik Satie had only one known lover throughout his life known as Valedon. Other than that Valedon period people thought he was homosexual through his songs like Gymnopedies. I can assure you Gymnopedies sound NOTHING like a gay song. It's such a contemporary and ethereal piece. One of my favourite classical songs of all time.

moby-slipping_away

Bloody beautiful video and song. =))))

Eu não compreendo porque alguns povos não podem ser mais objetivos. Não compreendem lá são o verso a tudo. Você viu somente um lado feio, como sobre o outro? não extremidade justa lá. Porque não você ruído elétrico justo suas paredes e caminhada ao outro lado. Este mundo não é sempre mais escuro no outro lado. Você começou compreender que tudo é cinzento preferivelmente.

Daniel Vosovic is gay.
Utt is gay.
James Morrison is gay.
Lee Hom rumoured to be gay.
I don't understand why are good-looking guys are turning gay everywhere. It's sad.
I hope Satoshi Tsumabuki, Jonathan Leong, Hayami Mocomichi won't turn gay. Cos all my other fave male idols already have wives and gfs. :(

How's Life?-The Observatory
how's life?
living like this
how is life?
we'll see
life is slow
do we know
if it's meant to be?
what to do?
there's nothing new
is there any place to go?
nothing comes
& nothing goes
& our faces in reluctance show
life's good
that's what they say
but by the way
by the way
life's incomplete so
so we slip & it's all downhill
what to do?
& do we know?
do we know
we're in luck or no?
what to do?
& do we grow?
do we ever grow up or no?
how's life these days?
do we ever grow up?
so we slip & it's all downhill
how's life these days?

Just watched the finals of Singapore Idol. They can never break away from a cheesy original song. It must be a song with oh-so-inspirational lyrics and that poppy instrumentation that suppose to make your hair stand with the choir and strings. Yeah. i hope Jonathan wins! He sang Should I stay and Chasing cars. The first was my favourite song in the pass. He always sings my favourite songs in the past. His song choices comes from the period when I was sec 1 and 2. Hady was good but his voice is like too perfect and too versatile that it's like it's too forgetable too. But i got a strong feeling he will win. It's like a mould of Singapore Idol. And he's perfect for it. I tried studying today. But I got stuck onto the tv that shows delicious food and other people eating it instead of me, and pretty designers and clothes. Now I know why Shiquan is crazy about Daniel Vosovic. He is really cute. I wished he wasn't guy. He looks super straight. He should not be gay. He looks nothing like George Michael and Elton John. He got that Adrien Brody aura. Tsk tsk. Shouldn't be ranting about stuff like this when the o's are oh-so-near.

"You want everything to be just like
The stories that you read but never write
You gotta learn to live and live and learn
You gotta learn to give and wait your turn
Or you'll get burned" -taken from Together by The Raconteurs

Anyways, I got no idea why I find Jack White sexy. I'm kinda surprised how I ever did get that thought. I think it's kinda scaring me. Anyway he looks suave playing the guitar in his cool image. Prelims is scary. The principal loves to talk non-stop. I'm not blaming her, of course she's afraid that the school will slip into a all-time academic low with our not so pleasant results. But I don't mind listening to her long hours of lectures if she gave us chairs to sit. It's like my butt flesh has runaway and my butt bones are experiencing friction with the wooden floorboards. It's like super disintegrating to the body. It's so painful I'd rather stand during those times. Maybe not. Você é um ladrão. Por que deve você estar no outro lado da cerca para a apreciar?

girlfreind

Pictures of my prettyful girlfriend.



This picture is from Honey and Clover. She's so sweet neh. Aaaaah. And wavy hair. Woohoo~ She's a real cutie pie. Lalalala~ It seems like I'm a real lesbian.


So here is Satoshi to balance my sexual preferences. So at least I'm a bisexual now.

My heart is aching and it feels heavy. Literally. I'm afraid for everything. Even though I know I'm prepared, but the fear of not being able to remember what a studied and apply it seem to sweep over me like a huge..storm surge? There's so many things I wished I had done earlier. All these are just regrets. No going back. Now I'm just afraid that this would repeat again before the big days come. I don't know. I did some math questions just now and I kept having careless mistakes. It's disappointing to see yourself committing one careless mistake after another. Why did I ever turn this way? I wish I knew. The fear and anxiety just keeps mounting up inside. I feel like being part of a rock band now. Be involve with the booze and drugs and do music like nobody's business. And can't be bothered by insignificant stuff like results. Naaah. I don't wanna be that type of rock star. I don't look like one anyways.I feel like sitting on the window sill with the wind blowing over me and get embraced by it and even swept away by it and POOM. Blood flows everywhere. From my head, I bet there's like very little brain juice to like spurt out. I'm not suicidal. I'm really not. I'm just being graphical.

I'm stuck in this loopy mood now. Everything sort of goes into painful slow motion. Everthing seems to be draggy. The world seems to collapsing apart. I seem to be the biggest loser in the world.


NICE SONG. melodious and mellow guitars. sweet.=)

girlfriend

I wish I was tons more hardworking than whatever I am now. Everytime I finish one chapter I thought I'll just rest and close my eyes for awhile. But the next second..I just Zzzzz. This happens very often when I sit on my sofa. Then the wind starts blowing in and everything is so breezy while I close my eyes. And I'll soon fall into deep slumber. But the time I wake up. It's like God knows when lah. Today gonna introduce my girlfriend! Woohoo.

See! So prettyful neh. My idol neh.

exams

I can't believe it. I actually left a blank when I had something in mind of it. I could have anyhow whacked. But then.. The bloody tree made my answer seem bloody wrong. Why is there only one tree in that vast land area? Can't there be more? And what I thought was actually correct only made me wanna jump to my death more. Oh bloody tree oh bloody tree, how sickening your in the middle of a landform. ( sing to the tune of oh..Christmas tree song) But nevermind. I just managed to survive a ******* day and my mom nags me to study again. I don't think she knows next week is HOLIDAY. Or maybe she does. Whatever. I wonder if it's my ears or is it that every week the singapore idol contestants seem to deprove? It just lacks the punch. And to think of it, it's the top 5 and yet they are so non-explosive. They must be noble gases. Even the best singer gave a monotonous performance this week. And Jonathan was like..too active. Suddenly all the kinky hand signs started to come out from him and his desire to stay in the competition seems so..erm..desired. I've got ingrown toe and finger nails even though i try to cut them straight like once every week. I wanna read Han Nolan's books. But I can't. Fish la. Hidetoshi Nishijma and Hayami Mocomichi is gonna appear on my tv set more frequently. Tsk tsk.

song

Shall post a song. Hohoho. Even though I know no ones will really go and listen to it. Whatever. HAHAHAHA.

chemistry

I screwed chemistry practical. I must believe it's really no big deal. I just screw up like erm..20% of my chemistry overall results. It's really nothing. as if lah. At least bio practical was manageable and it's 25% this time. Dreamt about broad beans. And long beans came out. The opposite. And I told my mom about my Orh Kee(jon) dream and she just "EEEeeeee" and said I'm enjoying a one-sided love. Then I keep claiming he's good-looking and she threatens to tell my dad. Ah. It's no big deal. He knows it already. Ahahaha. I hope she knows her daugther is sane lah. And I am. Just that I get a little hyper. It's really nothing big. It's better than having illusions that Satoshi would come flying to me in the night. Someday I must mention about my girlfriend too. And i've been folding these hearts for charity. Two hearts=2 bucks. See! I'm doing my part for charity without hurting my pocket. And I watched Be with you, that film by Eric Khoo. I'm still amazed that a girl who wanted to kill herself by jumping actually landed on a guy and killed him instead. And she is still alive. And that old man's wife is actually his illusion. No wonder the stuff he cooks is always thrown away. A bit like one of the part from Inner Senses. And channel 5 is gonna show great movies like In America and I am Sam. Aaah. Those movies are nice man. I watched I Am Sam more than five times and In America twice. And I would love re-watching it again.

superman

my superman Satoshi Tsumabuki. I miss him soo much. After o's I'll watch him every single day. I dunno why but he's actually acting as the "Handsome Guy" in Tokyo Drift. It's sad that he only says "go" in that movie while he is actually a magnificient actor in movies that he major in. And he usually act in films that are so beautiful. The cinematography is simply stunning with music that is heart-wrenching. Like "A Day on the Planet" and "Jozee,tiger and fish". All these movies are not available in sunny Singapore. Aaaaaah. I'll bring my bank account to Japan someday. School is like SO EXCITING and SOO FUN. Till I just wanna drop dead. Everytime I come home early I just take a nap till dinner and watch that box. Then I'll attempt one piece of homework climb to my bed. And force myself to sleep. I do believe I can study. I do. I do.

chinese

Chinese Os I scored A2. I dunno that's good or bad. But I think that's bad cos it results in the hardest decision to make. Whether to retake it or not. But I decided. Just give it a shot. No harm. It requires time. But it's a chance. So yeah.. For the past few days I felt super lost. Like soemthing fell short of something like that. Had a high fever during the national holidays. 39.1. No wonder I felt as if I was dying while watching Pirates of the Carribbean 2. I found my seat extremely uncomfortable and the music and images super irritating. I dozed off a few times. But that is largely due to my unstable health state. Johnny Depp is sexy lah. And charismatic lah. But I was dying. Then went home and slept to only wake up feeling more uncomfortable. The worst part was that i'm allergic to panadol which is also known as paracetemol(???) so I don't really have fever meds to take. Which is bad. Then I ate something really horrible the next day. And that horrible taste lingered in my mouth for the next two days. Making me feel like puking. Then I went super lost for past few days. As if my soul went on a vacation. And food was very unappealing during that time. Which is rather surprising as usually only food can turn me on. Until now I still feel as if my soul is swallowed by the sea. Woohoo. At least it got to see dolphins up close. Good for it. I wanna be it.

張懸 - 無狀態

she is so cool~

Honey and Clover trailer

Honey and Clover

Finished watching Honey and Clover's first season. Wee~ Wait until prelims is over then watch the second season. It's so addictive. And the movie looks so beautiful. Shall post the trailer here. And dear Jonathan Leong added me. Wahahaha. But he added loads of other people too. So it's nothing special after all. Bah.

blah

Jonathan didn't reject me. =) His account was hacked. Wahahahaha. I'm currently hooked to watching Honey and Clover. I like Hagumi. She's so cute and talented. Super arty-farty. The story takes place in an art college. So arty-farty. I love the music too. So mellow, so nice. I was never so crazy in any anime...until now. I'm gonna say chinese sucks. I needa do so many letter writing. There's a lot of homework during the weekend. But I can't stop watching Honey and Clover. This is bad. There's so many stuff to abstain from. Aaaaah.

Nobody Knows

jonathan

I think I'm gonna vote for Jonathan Leong next week. We can't afford to lose talents like him man. Although I would prefer something next week other than those rock ballads. But whatever he sings is nice lah. I don't understand why teachers like to scare us by telling how many days there are to blah blah blah. I've grown immune to all that already. it used to scare me. But now..it doesn't. Time does run out. It's not as if I don't know you don't know. Cos it's something we ALL know. I mean if the teachers wanna scare us they could actually leave longer intervals between the scares. Or else it's like totally useless. Totally is a slang. So it's like extremely useless. Aha. I just got to know from my mother that my relatives used to think that I was autistic cos I didn't like to talk to eeky adults like my relatives. I wouldn't call myself autistic cos autistic kids have talent. But i don't seem to have any. I still remember when I was young I used to think of pills whenever they said medicine. Then this big erm..set of pills start appearing in my vision. And I used to love fruit cakes wrapped in plastic see-through wrappings. Cos they were usually given by my mom's gynecologist(dunno how to spell). I thought that lady was nice so I loved going to her clinics. I also like fruit cakes wrapped in aluminium foil. I don't know why but it just seems to taste better. Cakes wrapped in aluminium foil is really different. But I don't see any of these stuff nowadays. I didn't like Snow White cos she had short and black hair. Her hair was like permed. I didn't like it at all. I like Cinderella when she wasdoing chores cos her hair was being put down you see. I liked her dress at the ball but she bunned up her hair, so I didn't like her anymore. I like Belle (erhem) too but I didn't like her yellow dress. And Jasmine never struck a chord with me. So I like Sleeping Beauty best. =) I think all the handsome prince look the same lor. I like Ariel when she had legs and wore clothes and didn't have a tail for legs. I'm like talking about all the disney princesses. Did ya know Mulan was in the princess league too? I didn't know she was a princess, the person she married wasn't a prince. Or was it? Anyway if she's a princess, I like her more than Sleeping Beauty. I have a school bag with her huge face on it! This is like a extremely(totally) aimless entry.

lazy

Why do I procrastinate and be lazy? Why do I wanna slaughter my own future? Why I just can't bring myself to do anything productive? People say just do just study. Don't study is your fault. It's not as if woohoo~ I wanna study then I can concentrate and study. My mind is weak I think. Then people would say go make your mind strong. How? Should I give electric shocks to myself to make myself feel awake and alive? Do I need some table or chart to keep my goals in perspective? So what if it's written out? I just can't feel anything. It's as if I'm numb to what i'm supposed to feel.

changed skin

Finally another look. And now those radio blog tracks' colours look increasingly weird. Second week of school has ended. Six more weeks to prelims. I don't feel anything and that's scaring me. Cos I should feel as if woohoo~ I'm swept away by a storm or something. I realised I seldom read english books nowadays. The mostest place I get my english reading from is the entertainment section of the newspaper. And do you know that reading those music and movies review actually do help in your english? It helps you pick bombastic words you seldom see in boring passages you do in school. But a lazy person like me will never pick up a dictionary to find out teh meaning of the words and stuff. So I just use them whenever I like. Even though it may not be the correct meaning and go with what I'm expressing. And seriously, it doesn't help in my vocabulary cos my writing is so primary schoolish that no cheem words can be used. And my grammar sucks too. Vicki Loh keeps talking about grammar. Makes me feel even more primary schoolish with my writing. I don't even know simple grammar. And I'm taking the bloody o's marked by ang mohs with faces that requires botox and eyes that need that erm..lasik surgery. So I think they should be very erm..englishy. I my handwriting might drive them nuts. Unless englishy people write like that. Which I hope they do. It ain't easy to alter handwriting. I tried writing smaller with wider spacings but my hand seems to require more force to write lighter and smaller words. So I rather get all rough the paper. And maybe rip it apart if I can. I got no idea why I'm writing all these.

girl,interrupted

Just bought the Girl,Interrupted dvd yesterday. Stayed up to watch it till 330am. It's a fantastic movie and it's my first nc-16 movie that I bought myself. It's nc-16 becuase of the coarse language. But the only coarse words are f**k and a**hole. Yeah. The show is warm, scary and heart-breaking all at the same time. The story is about this girl named Susanna who gets into the mental institution because she attempted suicide and was diagnosed with the condition of borderline personality disorder or something like that. And there she met other people who became her friends. People mad and insane. But actually sometimes they aren't that mad at all.

Susanna: Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends and by the '70s most of them were out living lives. Some I've seen, some never again, but there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them.

The whole soundtrack is nice too. Nice 60s and 70s songs. I'll put one up here.

How to fight lonliness-Wilco
How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine your teeth to meaningless
And sharpen them with lies
And whatever is going down
Will you follow around
That's how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you'll ever need
That's how you fight it
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time

.

I wanna run and hide and hibernate till the o's end. Aaaaaaaaaah. I don't think i can take it anymore. Aaaaaaaaaah. Okie. I'm scared already. They won. I'm scared. I hate a math. It's mocking at me and I can hear it.

dead

I always seem to kill myself eveytime the holidays has ended. I'm such a loser man.

-

I'm Nobody!
Who are you?
Are you-Nobody-Too?
Then there's a pair of us?
Don't tell! they'd advertise-you know!

-Emily Dickinson



Lovely song. So uplifting. =)))

dance

This song is like SUPER DUPER WOOPER nice. =) I'm like advertising for Burger King at the same time. The wooper burger which is actually nice too. One of my favourite burgers there. The beef patty is like tender and nice. Yeah. Anyway. This song is still very nice. With lyrics that are beautiful. But sadly it's a love song. Which I can't exactly relate to. I do not understand why there aare so many songs that depict relationships between man and woman but not many songs that depicts family ties and friendship. When actually the other two are more prevalent among people. I mean everybody is born into some kind of family. There musta be zillions of emotions coming out of relationships with your family members. But not much songs were written on that. Sad.

tummyache

Holidays are boring. i'm stuck to that tv every single day. Even when I have nothing to watch, I will switch the channels until I have something to watch. When I don't watch tv, I will find stuff to eat. When I start doing my homework, I would climb onto my bed and sleep. It's some kind of automatic thing. And I was thought come on, only a few minutes will do. But I end up sleeping for hours. At least while I'm sleeping I am cutting connection with the entire world. And get to enjoy a little "paradise" of my own. My ceiling has a few glow-in-the-dark stars now. When I get the mood, I shall stick some flying pigs too. And my glow in the dark dolphins are hibernating. So are the seasshells and fishes. I'm wondering how I get the money last time to buy all these stuff. It's quite amazing how come I have so much money last time when my pocket money was less. And now I always have no extra cash to keep at home. I musta be some amazing saver. I could like buy one cd every two weeks. And even had money to buy barbie clothes. I must be crazy.

air force

If I was guy and I fulfilled the criteria. I would join the air force. Cos they uniform is bloody cool. It makes the whole erm... body structure look very erm.. gorgeous. Ahahaha. And usually they faces are a little above average one. Tsk tsk. I wanna be in the air force. Cos their uniform is so bloody wicked. -grins- I wanna watch the lakehouse. It's coming out soon. And Keanu Reeves is in it! The story sounds nice and sweet too. I think Keanu Reeves will look good in air force uniform. -squeals- AHAHAHAHA.

jonathan leong

Woohoo. Jonathan get in. =) I love his deep voice when he sings. Yeah. When sings, not talk. He sounds croaky when he talks. And he was a national fencer! Fencing. Links me to someone else.. I missed school today cos I thought my body couldn't take it anymore. Actually I was rather lazy to wake and brush my teeth and stuff like that. Have some kinda throat infection. Got quite a few time of medicines. I think doctors do get a kick out of prescribing medicine. Like how dentists get a kick out of ruining and letting your glums bleed and try to remove some called "plague". When actually they're just removing that protective layer of the gums which happens to expose blood vessels and causes blood to be circling in your mouth. Awful saddists. I hate syrup medincine. They look so nice and smells nice. But when you actually taste it it's bloody bitter and lingers in your mouth. Kings of Covenience are cool. With their mellow sounds and lyrics of beautiful melancholy. Their music tends to fill up empty hearts. They struck a chord with people who all live busy nowadays. We hardly know what we're rushing for. We just go around and neglect whatever that is all around us. Their music make us stop and look at what is around us. And make us realise maybe life ain't that bad at all. Cos beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes. Okie. I hardly understand what I'm ranting anyways. I thought clouds are always moving and floating. My those otuside the window seem to stagnant forever. maybe there are all fake. At least they look as if they do.

chinese

woohoo~ I'm finally done with the chinese o level paper. I just pray and hope it's A1. But I know myself that it's not gonna be. The most I'll just retake. Seriously. It ain't no life and death business anyways. I still gotta endure school for another week. I wish I'll be too sick to go to school tomorrow cos that's what I feel now. I feel like dying man. Watched a Yo-Yo Ma video just now. It was with the silk road ensemble. I don't understand why some people commented that he looks as if he was gonna commit suicide cos they played so badly. I thought it was rather ok and did not require him to commit suicide at all. The most he'd just cut himself? Nah. He shouldn't do anything foolish at all. I hate geography now. I makes me wanna. Die. I left two essays and I'm still blabbering nonsense here. I can't take it. I'm afraid my brain would explode. I'm afraid I'm so fat that I'll explode too. And that fatty acids comes flying in all directions. Eeeew. Strings are amazing. They instantly adds depth into any music. So heart-wrenching. I feel like having my own film festival. You know. Something like Cannes. Isn't that like super cool? Then there will be judges to give out various awards and movies will be screened. Hahaha.
Cheryl's Film Festival

chinese

Chinese O's is just on the coming monday. I thought this day would never come. But now it's so near. So bloody near. I think I'll retake if I don't get an A. The bao zhang bao dao book is weird and unreasonable at times. I hate some of the essays very very much. Today had parents meeting session. It was also a rather awkward session as there were plenty of pauses every now and then. I think all these parents and teachers meeting stuff just let the school looks nice as if it's keeping a close relationship with the parents. I mean some students are not very bad nor very good. You can't really expect to say much at all. It's just those few things that keep on replaying again and again. Even the principal talk was nothing much too. They seem to be like doing things for the sake of it. Cos they know they needa do something. They just dunno what to do. I must survive through this. Whatever. I always tell myself these kinda stuff. But that feeling never comes. I know it's my fault. I dunno why I'm doing nothing. There's alot of stuff that I do that even me myself dunno the explanation and the reason behind doing it. Sometimes I just do things out of the sudden. I got a strong feeling i'll kill someone someday. I just dunno who yet. It may be myself. Who knows. Hahahaha.

happiness

I don't understand why happiness or being "high" requires an image to upkeep. Shouldn't it be more of something that can be felt instead of being seen? If appearances and images of people matter so much and convey so much. There is actually no need for words or languages at all since everything can be understood from the surface. Even ducks that are looking so serene above water are actually struggling to keep afloat by paddling under water. Being happy and positive is one thing. But if everything is so beautiful, it's real value would not be shown unless we go through what is negative and ugly.

The story is becoming weirder and astonishing everyday. More weird stuff are popping up. They played something by Erik Satie. It's Gympnopedies no. dunno what. The weirder sounding one. Suppose to show the two worlds. One of material and one of souls and spirits? Super weird. And the blind girl is actually the devil and she has an awful hunch she is gonna kill Shinya. And the white masked girl is actually the guy who has been eliminated and "she" is actually the angel. And Hayato Ichihara is actually the God. And Minazuki Kenji is actually alive! All the weirdest stuff start to come out now.

29

Woohoo~ my LIR5 is the same as last year's one. I did not improve and did not improve. I remained stagnant. Which is rather bad if you know what's my score. I passed english! I thought I would flunk badly.Cos my composition was really childish and choppy. There's like no fluency at all. I think the teachers think I'm lying. But I'm not. But for chinese composition I lied. I think I'm not suitable for lying in compositions. It's just so not real. I can't lie for nuts lah.

Fist time I'm paragraphing. Ahahaha. Waltz of the heart is getting more and more interesting everyday and weirder everyday. I wish Shinya would accept Haoto. There's something very ineteresting about Shinya. But he has fallen for an older women who is actually the daugther of his foster parents. I'm so jealous at the way they play that piano duet. I wish my special someone would do that too. Very soon the 3 winners of the competition will be revealed. There's three person as being predicted by that know-it-all computer. There's Angel, Devil and God. Obviously Angel is Haoto and that Devil would be that girl with the white mask who give me the creeps. I'm just wondering who will be God man. And Haoto just keep confessing about her feelings. Why can't he just accept it? It's just a damn weird drama.

Satoshi Tsumabuki. Hidetoshi Nishijima. Naohito Fujiki. Hayami Mocomichi. Shunsuke Nakamura. Ken Hirai.

-

I've prepared myself mentally for today's event last night. Thought over my results. My intuitions of my results are usually quite accurate. Like math. I know I couldn't make it and I did not make it. Nevermind. This is not the end. And I don't have anymore time to waste too. I need a grip on myself. All these are just words. Words that carry to value at all unless I put them into action. Been watching a new drama lately. About this blind girl joining this piano competition. Some very complicated and weird at times story. My bad command of english simply can't put it into words. Then she began talking about darkness. And how we should know be afraid of darkness cos it's like some comfort blanket that embraces us in times of sorrow, despair and misery. And I find it rather true. Many times we cry in the dark in order to cut off connections with the world outside. Engulf in darkness where vast amounts of negative emotions are allowed. Crap man. If it was Mrs Tham reading this I bet she gave a bloody tick.

plenty of paper

Plenty of Paper- Eisley

Something's growing under that wing
I think a face is dawning
Oh no the bugs are growing faces
And you're lost quite classically
With your nose in a book
And it seems so fitting
And perhaps this is the end we've sought after for so long
And perhaps now it's done
Cause we've found all the dire dreams
Of men and machines and
Turned them all around our
Identical hands
Composing our commands
I cut the moon in half
And stuck a piece to my hair
It made the back of my head glow
Golden yellow and then I took
Ten stars on sticks and placed them in my small metal
Bucket and I gave the other half of the moon to you
Ooh, so you wouldn't forget me while I'm gone
'Cause we found all the dire dreams
Of men and machines and
Turned them all around to
Enjoy them and benefit ourselves
Our paperback books, our charming looks
Our indentical hands
Composing our commands
And oh my love
We can live on the sun
And wouldn't we be attractive
Riding in our shiny motor cars
With eyeglasses full of stars
And plenty of paper for scenery paintings
'Cause we found all the dire dreams
Of men and machines and
Turned them all around to
Enjoy them and benefit ourselves
Our paperback books, our charming looks
Our indentical hands
Composing our commands

Cheryl

Cheryl has just screwed all her papers. I bet she can't wait to see Mrs Teo and drink coffee with her. Cheryl thought she was very smart and tried to study geography and biology in one day. Now I wonder how is she going to take her o's already. She is so "smart". Made alot of mistakes like switching the genders of people in the passages. Now I'm wondering what she is doing with her life man. But I guess she won't die at the end of the day. At least I hope so.

liwee

This is dedicated to Ang Liwee. =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhxJSUMaPM

studying

I realised my face look horrendous especially around the t-zone area with enlarged pores and blackheads and pimples. Hopefully they don't turn into acne. I look an auntie. Ahahaha. Yeah. I do. Nevermind. I shall go running. Hopefully it help me curb my craziness and help me study better? Cos I go this lagging attitude for studying. Argh. Like now. I'm typing on this bloody thing instead of finishing my bloody chinese homework. And math. Just when I thought I know how to do the questions by myself. I got stuck. Oh ya. Running is of course to lose fat. Then maybe I won't have to worry about TAF next time. If only I can even wake myself up early to go run. Running alone will be scary. I lost my dolphin book clip. I'm depressed. I'm depressed when I lose thing. Losing things is very traumatic for me. I can't ponder on how to find the things I lost for the whole day. Until my brain can't intepret other messages and information until I find my thing. Or until I think of a way to get over it. I must be responsible over my stuff man. And stop losing things. It's really depressing. I understand how stupid it is to be depressed over some dolphin plastic thingy. But it means alot to me. Especially when it's lost. After O's I decided to work and wahahaha. So I'll have money to spend. Then maybe I can buy something from agnes b. That'll be so ultra cool. Being rich is good. At least you get to have one more way to destress yourself, which is retail therapy lah. Not everybody gets to have retail therapy you know. It's only those bloody rich people. Rich... If I was rich. I would drop out of school and be home-schooled instead. Or maybe go to an international school. But I'm not. So I'm stuck in my current school. I want Satoshi Tsumabuki to hug me now. And tell me it's all gonna work out. I'm dreaming. I wish he could teach me math too. If only he could.

muse festival

Band is finally over. No more complaining about how sian band can be or how much i don't feel like stepping into the dusty stuffy bomb shelter. It's all over. No more shaking like mad when I'm ask to play alone. No more embracing of saliva on my skirt. It's all gone. I really have a cool section. Ahahahaha. Except the part where they sabotage me and stuff. At least we are all so daring to go mad together. And i love that. =) So now the mood for studying is supposed to be setting in. But I don't feel much. I owe tons of chinese homework which needa be completed all by monday. Or else I'll just go kill myself. I suck man. And I needa tons of chem tys stuff too. I should be shot man. And I've got tuition work to do. I should be slaughtered man. I suddenly miss that Satoshi Tsumabuki video clip sooo much. it's so funny. I watched it three times only. And now it's taken off. Aaaaah~ I wanna play arcade man. If only I noticed the pop and music. Aaah. Then I wouldn't hit the drums until my arm ached. So wasted.

music

I suddenly miss all my old music tracks that I downloaded last time. Whenever I needed to forfeit those music files, I almost breakdown. I miss all those tracks. I wish all the files would recover by themselves. I miss them so much so much. And with the savings I have, I won't be able to buy all the cds to recover those tracks.

aaah

One more week to go. And band would finally end. From my secondary school life. Tomorrow is so gonna be sucky. With a math test I haven't really studied for and lots of work to do which I didn't touch. As yesterday was a super long day with remedial in the morning and band and then tuition for like 4 hours instead. We did paper one of emath. There's like so many things I dunno how to do. How am I gonna pass my a math test tomorrow like this. How I wish time would freeze so that I kind save up all these time for future uses instead of wasting it now. I so wanna die man. I feel so dead for everything. My palm is aching from the playing of traditional drums and now I can hardly write without feeling serious tension in my muscles. I should be doing my work now but instead I'm typing in this thing. What the hell am I thinking. I just remembered there's this video on Satoshi Tsumabuki attending some entertainment show. Which is like so bloody funny. I could still laugh after watching it for the third time. It's sick and hilarious. The host is so ahahahahha. And Satoshi Tsumabuki is so cute. Aaaah..

esplanade

I've got an esplanade pass! For two days. But it got my beautiful name printed on it. Koh Shihan Cheryl. Note my middle name. Haha. I have a middle name. Wahahaha. Monday was a little boring and tiring at the same time. We had to hang out in esplanade for like the whole day but we only get our sound check for less than an hour. The thing I did most was to eat. And I musta say.. Broad Beans are nice. =) So are cheezels. I still thought I might see ushers around. I was hoping to see that cute usher I saw last time. But I only saw female ones. So no kick. So we just kept eating and playing and talking and walking around. Then went around citylink mall and raffles city after we could leave. The food was better than I expcted. But I think vegetarian
's dinner would have tasted much better. Second day was mostly of taking pictures and preparing. We did some tai-chi in the morning by the Sinagpore River. Other tourists see as like some huge attraction. Cos I think it's rather bizarre to see people in blue doing tai-chi together in the morning by the river. Some thing that they would never see in their own country. So cultural sia. Maybe they thought that that was a common practise im Singapore. Incoporating blue uniforms with tai-chi. The performance was quite ok. At least better than what I expected. But we had to tone down most of the time. Which made it increasingly difficult to play well. We were so powerful that we covered the actors and actresses' dialogues. But at least they weren't listening to noise. It was rather nice overall. At least to the audience. I hope.

march holis

The holidays are like totally packed. I've been going to school from monday to friday. It's almost like going school or normal days. Except that I wear tees instead. I had been eating very unhealthy food-macs. And I must say monday's fries are really nice. Golden brown, done in perfection. Then it went worser as the days passed. Haha. Oh mayonnaise.. I discovered something. Whenever I start sitting on the chair placed on the pri sch stage. My sweat tap is naturally turned on. And it will flow profusely for at least 5 minutes before it slows down. And everytime I require two tissues to make sure I won't be made blind by my salty sweat. Seating infront is really cool. Cos you get to enjoy the dances like the cool Indian dance. The mostest contemporary one out of the three I think. The music is cool, the dance steps are cool and even their bells are cool. Talking about Indian music, makes me think Thai music is nice too. I bought a new book yesterday. The first book I bought after years man. To actually think I that I actually buy alot of books in the past. I wonder how I get all those cash man. The title is "Kira-Kira". I managed to finish within five or more hours. The first time I completed a book this year! Last year I also only managed to finish one book. Ahahaha. No wonder my english is soo fantabulous. Kira-Kira is nice. But short. And I slept with the book. So the cover page is like bended which makes it looks so horrendous. Should not have slept with it. My heart aches man. I wish we could just have normal school days. Cos I know I will never get to finish my holiday homework. My headaches always seem to come when I see those numbery stuff. Ouch.

shambles

I finally know what xiu luo chang means, it's actually shambles. So I finally know what that song is trying to say. Tokyo Incident is cool man. Although they are abit weird at times. Till it's kinda scary? And once again. The holidays do not appear as holidays. We got tons of homework for each subject. I think this load is even larger than June holiday's one. It's understandable since we're having the o's soon. But it's only like one week? Yeah. I'm not as tough as the others. I still look forward to having fun and stuff. And there's the esplanade performance coming up. Which is like practices are gonna be tougher and stuff. Hardcore practising for the coming weeks. As the festival is also approaching. We are supposed to only play 3 pieces for the festival itself. But many other pieces are added in as we have exchange and fringe performance. Hopefully that news about MOE rule for secondary 4s to step down in only in July is very untrue. Or else.. I'll just wither away. Persisting till the festival ain't an east task already. What's more if it's persisting till July. Oh ya. I'm gonna complain about this new drama vcd set I bought. It's Orange Days. This is produced by that TVB company. Anyway, it's some Singapore Company. The set cost tons more than others. I thought it was because of the english subtitles. But you know what? The english subtitles suck to the core. It's bloody broken singlish. I wouldn't mine if it was singlish. But it's BLOODY BROKEN SINGLISH. I seriously think I can do a better translation job ya know? They should hire me instead. I'm ok with a lower pay. The chinese subtitles were ok. But it's the bad english subtitles above it that's so distracting. I'd rather have the chinese subtitles alone man. The standard of the english is really poor. As always can become all and udon noodles can become mee just shows the extent. It's really singlish as you can see mee is malay already. Not english! Okie. I shall consider becoming translator after o levels so that the consumers can have a better time with their vcds.

yume

Been watching Slow Dance for the past few days. It's so nice~ What's more is that Naohito Fujiki and Satoshi Tsumabuki are acting in it. Hohoho. Two eye candies at once. So shiok man. And the female actresses inside are nice-looking demure people. The story revolves around these few young people and their love lives and work. And how this main character which is Satoshi Tsumabuki chases his dream of becoming a movie director. I still left one more disc to go and I'll be finished with the whole series. I think I better save it for the coming week. Very soon. The march "holidays" will come. I hope at least I get to go out once or twice. And hopefully band would be tolerable enough for me to get through. Today I was chopping veggies, chilly and fishcake. I used my bare fingers to dig out the chilly seeds. Now my fingers are like burnt. It's aching with heat. And spiciness. If there is alot of friction going on between my fingers. I'm so afraid that I would start to see flames appearing. This shows that i wasted my weekend again. By watching drama serials and chopping veggies. Must really change gear man. Keep forgetting about it. Anyways. I think Mr Children's songs are sooo nice. So sad, inspiring and light at the same time. With meaningful lyrics that i don't understand. Hahaha.

quiz

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: PhilosophyMusicTheologyArtHistoryForeign language

What Should You Major In?

kimi wa tomodachi

http://www.youtube.com/?v=gAo0YjivR5Y

pigeon hole

How I wish I would have read my timetable of ms lim's name beefore handing in my bloody chem worksheets into madam soh's pigeon hole instead. She got like two surnames in her name? Lim and Soh at the same time. Ahhh. I don't wanna redo my worksheets man. And what's more. Alot of other kids also handed up in the wrong pigeon hole. Argh. I hope she won't be in a bad mood tomorrow man. She's scary and bias against girls. She enjoys the "flirting" that little guys give her. Should really pair her up with a partner man. Maybe her pms-ey attitude will subside. How I wished I would turn sick tomorrow and turn blue. But I can't. I still needa go school to collect my books for the weekends and homework. And my dear DANB. You keep making me bloody depressed or "depressed". I wish our file checking can be eons away. Argh. Math file is not even here yet man. And geography. I keep doing half essays. Hope she won't really go and read the essays one by one. Or else, I'm like so bloody dead. And my brain definitely cannot take in differentiation. It's not I don't know the basics. It's the questions that's confusing. I feel stabbed in the stomach man. And there's a english essay which I have no idea what to write. I keep getting stuck. I seriously just can't pull off an essay by simply "crapping". Obviously I do not have that ability to do so. Even if I crap, I crap short man. Aaaaaah~

school

This week of school has so far been filled with lectures of every sort. Everytime a common test is returned to us. We have to sit through half of hour of lecture telling us to wake up and there's not much time left and how disappointed they are with us. What lazy people we are. And every single time my heart beat like hyenas on the loose? I'm not good with similes. And fortunately I only had one learning experience so far. I seriously have a weak heart and would appreciate if you all could at least return the papers before breaking into a lecture session. So that my heart could be better prepared for it. And let my blood vessels have time to start dilating. This week is totally horrendous other than some encounters here and there. But all the craziness will end tomorrow. The lead actor is gonna be gone forever and ever and ever. I don't even understand why I have taken such a deep fancy in that guy man. When I hardly saw his face close up before or even close to greeting him. But the voice is seriously a killer. Ever since that voice. Aww... I'm drifting off to lala land. Oh ya. I must say this. Monday's trip to kbox was really fun. Even though I broke a cup and sang horredously. And maybe danced abit crazily. But it was fun ok. Yeah. But so sad we are actually having school the next day. Couldn't they set the day on friday instead? So we can also miss danb at the same time. I find danb very irksome. I'm a horrible player I know and I just made myself only look worse. I can never overcome that fear of mine. How I wish I could what I was when I was younger. Someone who dared to perform and never have any panic attacks. But I changed.

Cheryl's Guys Parade

-visual galore- part I
Let's start with the very first guy which I met when I was in primary six or five. The first time I saw him on tv was on Love Revolution. The charming appeal of him was simply enticing. And those eyes of him. Woohoo~ He plays the piano and guitar and composes his own songs. Very intelligent as he attends one of the top universities in Japan. My first dream guy. But unfortunately he's married now to some model. Has great appeal when performing onstage. An artist who make the stage his canvas. =) His name is Naohito Fujiki!



The next one is my latest craze. Watched him in that doctor drama- Say hello to Blackjack. Wahahaha. He's bloody cute man. The way he smiles. And the role he had in the drama was of this passionate medical student who just stepped into the hospital as an intern. The drama was none the less filled with moving stories, stories of all sorts of patients and doctors. Then I saw him in Waterboys. Where he was even cuter, cos he's young you see. And again. I saw him in that weird short story of canned people. Melancholic and bizarre story. And again. he fufills the portion of being a music man as he plays the bass of his band, Basking Lite. He is the ever-oh-so-cute, Satoshi Tsumabuki!




The last person of today is Ken Hirai. The passionate singer cum songwriter. The one that sings while pulling your heart strings. The one who is ever so charismatic in any performance. The one that is just deeply soulful and writes nice lyrics. The one who could sing english better than most of other japanese artiste. Even though he does not really know the language well. One of those few singers who could sustain after 10 years still being popular with the crowd. =)

adam khoo workshop

Went to the Adam Khoo workshop for the past 3 days. It was enriching even though I don't feel much now. It's not that I did not give in my 100 % participation and stuff. Whatever they went through about those non-study stuff like those stuff about parents and stuff. It's actually things we all honestly know. It's just that no one has been able to make us visualise such stuff and actually really think about these stuff. And that is what this workshop did, it made us realise things that are so oblivious to us all. I cried a little not because I'm unfeeling towards the whole thing. Not because I wanted to put up a front. Just becuase these things did ran through my mind before. I was very close to losing my mom and dad before. My dad always reminded me that his heart wasn't very strong. My mom did tell me once that one of her tumours may be cancerous. So I did learn to treasure my parents. But ever since an incident happened. I trusted my dad a whole lot less until today. Even after the workshop I still don't know how I should actually feel towards him. Never mind. I shall set my mind on doing my best for o levels. No more "try"s. Must have beliefs that are strong enough to hold me through this hurdle. The big O's. =) Cos I already got my goals made up long ago. And I shall do whatever it takes to make me reach that goal of mine.

satoshi tsumabuki

So long since I updated. Supposed to be doing homework now but yet I'm here blogging when I could have blogged on weekends. But I just slack my weekends away without realising the importance to finish my work. School seriously sucks. Everyday we're like confined to this same old routine of going to school, attending cca if there is, coming home to rush homework and study for upcoming tests and the whole thing will repeat again the next day. Even my weekends' routine also seem to be confined. Just watch tv, eat and come online to surf on things that would feast my eyes. Sometimes I really wish we could return to the past where we could still enjoy ourselves at the end of the day no matter how bad the day went. And always have time to ourselves. Something we hardly have nowadays. All our time is like given to the school. Who always have programmes and endless remedials. Remedials always occur on days without cca. So it's like the whole week after-school time has been given to the school again. None of the students can actually go home and rest man. Bastards. Since when you've seen us become all-rounders and geniuses?

Vienna-Billy Joel

Vienna-Billy Joel.


Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why you are still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only so many hours in a day
But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realise...
Vienna waits for you
Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time.
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forfeit what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right
You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realise...
Vienna waits for you
Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realise...
Vienna waits for you

Super lovely song with nice lyrics and melody. Heard it while watching 13 going 30. And it's like a song from the 1970-1980s that period. But yet it sounds so close to what we're actually experiencing nowadays. maybe 20-30 years back ain't that long at all. Another nice song is Ken Hirai's Life is...~another story~. And that song camo from that japanese drama titled say hello to blackjack if I'm not wrong. It's some touching and moving doctor drama. With cute doctor nonetheless. Hohoho. But all the story is really nice except the drama moves abit slow at times. One of the best dramas I watched musta be R-17. So close to reality and yet inspirational in not such a cliched way. As they show you the real life experiences first before telling you life you life to the fullest and look on the bright side of life and those crap. Those are rather irreponsible advices to give to people in trouble. It's easy to say but not always to do and what they really need at that time is comfort and not those rather useless advice that might help them feel better for awhile but the situaton still comes back the next minute. Being positive is not the most important thing but having support to be positive is.

You scored as Linguistics. You should be a Linguistics major! Linguistics 75% Art 75% Journalism 75% Psychology 75% Sociology 75% Theater 67% Dance 58% Philosophy 58% Mathematics 58% Anthropology 50% Engineering 42% English 42% Chemistry 25% Biology 25% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

experience of being a crazy fan girl

Yesterday was the I become one of those crazy fan girls who awaited for their erm.. idol to appear. And the idol is Alan Kuo! Wahahahahaha. He's so cute! Then way he smiles. So sweet~ Childishly sweet. =) And Peilin was there to accompany me on this erm.. fan-girl journey. Thanks alot. -passes you the fingerprints of him- I even went to buy his album on the spot and withstand the flooding rainwater that made my shoes so wet it stained my feet totally brown. So unsightly and dirty. I had to live with the unpleasant stench as many people were squeezed together to get a better sight of this super cute guy. Maybe not all lah. Some may just be plain curious. Oh ya. I bought his album and went up to get his autograph. And I shook his hands! And I did not wash my hands till now! As if.. But he's CUTE CUTE CUTE! C-U-T-E. Cute=))). Enough of those rantings. Today did homework and watched tv and laze around as usual. I must really get myself in the mood to work hard man. Musta musta. So long..

.

I really want you to stay. But my actions don't exactly show what I'm feeling. I want to have that sense of security that was lost long time ago. So long that I can no longer feel anything. I even found comfort somewhere else. I'm sorry into becoming some person that I no longer was. I really wish I never changed much for the past 3 years. Maybe stuff wouldn't be so different now. I have become into someone that even me myself can hardly be proud of. So I doubt you'll even feel proud of me. I have been giving up on myself. I begin to believe that my failures and mistakes were just part of me and did nothing about it. And the more I try the more I felt like giving everything away. I knew you may never be what you are last time. But I really hope the old times could return.