My heart is aching and it feels heavy. Literally. I'm afraid for everything. Even though I know I'm prepared, but the fear of not being able to remember what a studied and apply it seem to sweep over me like a huge..storm surge? There's so many things I wished I had done earlier. All these are just regrets. No going back. Now I'm just afraid that this would repeat again before the big days come. I don't know. I did some math questions just now and I kept having careless mistakes. It's disappointing to see yourself committing one careless mistake after another. Why did I ever turn this way? I wish I knew. The fear and anxiety just keeps mounting up inside. I feel like being part of a rock band now. Be involve with the booze and drugs and do music like nobody's business. And can't be bothered by insignificant stuff like results. Naaah. I don't wanna be that type of rock star. I don't look like one anyways.I feel like sitting on the window sill with the wind blowing over me and get embraced by it and even swept away by it and POOM. Blood flows everywhere. From my head, I bet there's like very little brain juice to like spurt out. I'm not suicidal. I'm really not. I'm just being graphical.