jonathan leong

Woohoo. Jonathan get in. =) I love his deep voice when he sings. Yeah. When sings, not talk. He sounds croaky when he talks. And he was a national fencer! Fencing. Links me to someone else.. I missed school today cos I thought my body couldn't take it anymore. Actually I was rather lazy to wake and brush my teeth and stuff like that. Have some kinda throat infection. Got quite a few time of medicines. I think doctors do get a kick out of prescribing medicine. Like how dentists get a kick out of ruining and letting your glums bleed and try to remove some called "plague". When actually they're just removing that protective layer of the gums which happens to expose blood vessels and causes blood to be circling in your mouth. Awful saddists. I hate syrup medincine. They look so nice and smells nice. But when you actually taste it it's bloody bitter and lingers in your mouth. Kings of Covenience are cool. With their mellow sounds and lyrics of beautiful melancholy. Their music tends to fill up empty hearts. They struck a chord with people who all live busy nowadays. We hardly know what we're rushing for. We just go around and neglect whatever that is all around us. Their music make us stop and look at what is around us. And make us realise maybe life ain't that bad at all. Cos beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes. Okie. I hardly understand what I'm ranting anyways. I thought clouds are always moving and floating. My those otuside the window seem to stagnant forever. maybe there are all fake. At least they look as if they do.

chinese

woohoo~ I'm finally done with the chinese o level paper. I just pray and hope it's A1. But I know myself that it's not gonna be. The most I'll just retake. Seriously. It ain't no life and death business anyways. I still gotta endure school for another week. I wish I'll be too sick to go to school tomorrow cos that's what I feel now. I feel like dying man. Watched a Yo-Yo Ma video just now. It was with the silk road ensemble. I don't understand why some people commented that he looks as if he was gonna commit suicide cos they played so badly. I thought it was rather ok and did not require him to commit suicide at all. The most he'd just cut himself? Nah. He shouldn't do anything foolish at all. I hate geography now. I makes me wanna. Die. I left two essays and I'm still blabbering nonsense here. I can't take it. I'm afraid my brain would explode. I'm afraid I'm so fat that I'll explode too. And that fatty acids comes flying in all directions. Eeeew. Strings are amazing. They instantly adds depth into any music. So heart-wrenching. I feel like having my own film festival. You know. Something like Cannes. Isn't that like super cool? Then there will be judges to give out various awards and movies will be screened. Hahaha.
Cheryl's Film Festival

chinese

Chinese O's is just on the coming monday. I thought this day would never come. But now it's so near. So bloody near. I think I'll retake if I don't get an A. The bao zhang bao dao book is weird and unreasonable at times. I hate some of the essays very very much. Today had parents meeting session. It was also a rather awkward session as there were plenty of pauses every now and then. I think all these parents and teachers meeting stuff just let the school looks nice as if it's keeping a close relationship with the parents. I mean some students are not very bad nor very good. You can't really expect to say much at all. It's just those few things that keep on replaying again and again. Even the principal talk was nothing much too. They seem to be like doing things for the sake of it. Cos they know they needa do something. They just dunno what to do. I must survive through this. Whatever. I always tell myself these kinda stuff. But that feeling never comes. I know it's my fault. I dunno why I'm doing nothing. There's alot of stuff that I do that even me myself dunno the explanation and the reason behind doing it. Sometimes I just do things out of the sudden. I got a strong feeling i'll kill someone someday. I just dunno who yet. It may be myself. Who knows. Hahahaha.

happiness

I don't understand why happiness or being "high" requires an image to upkeep. Shouldn't it be more of something that can be felt instead of being seen? If appearances and images of people matter so much and convey so much. There is actually no need for words or languages at all since everything can be understood from the surface. Even ducks that are looking so serene above water are actually struggling to keep afloat by paddling under water. Being happy and positive is one thing. But if everything is so beautiful, it's real value would not be shown unless we go through what is negative and ugly.

The story is becoming weirder and astonishing everyday. More weird stuff are popping up. They played something by Erik Satie. It's Gympnopedies no. dunno what. The weirder sounding one. Suppose to show the two worlds. One of material and one of souls and spirits? Super weird. And the blind girl is actually the devil and she has an awful hunch she is gonna kill Shinya. And the white masked girl is actually the guy who has been eliminated and "she" is actually the angel. And Hayato Ichihara is actually the God. And Minazuki Kenji is actually alive! All the weirdest stuff start to come out now.

29

Woohoo~ my LIR5 is the same as last year's one. I did not improve and did not improve. I remained stagnant. Which is rather bad if you know what's my score. I passed english! I thought I would flunk badly.Cos my composition was really childish and choppy. There's like no fluency at all. I think the teachers think I'm lying. But I'm not. But for chinese composition I lied. I think I'm not suitable for lying in compositions. It's just so not real. I can't lie for nuts lah.

Fist time I'm paragraphing. Ahahaha. Waltz of the heart is getting more and more interesting everyday and weirder everyday. I wish Shinya would accept Haoto. There's something very ineteresting about Shinya. But he has fallen for an older women who is actually the daugther of his foster parents. I'm so jealous at the way they play that piano duet. I wish my special someone would do that too. Very soon the 3 winners of the competition will be revealed. There's three person as being predicted by that know-it-all computer. There's Angel, Devil and God. Obviously Angel is Haoto and that Devil would be that girl with the white mask who give me the creeps. I'm just wondering who will be God man. And Haoto just keep confessing about her feelings. Why can't he just accept it? It's just a damn weird drama.

Satoshi Tsumabuki. Hidetoshi Nishijima. Naohito Fujiki. Hayami Mocomichi. Shunsuke Nakamura. Ken Hirai.

-

I've prepared myself mentally for today's event last night. Thought over my results. My intuitions of my results are usually quite accurate. Like math. I know I couldn't make it and I did not make it. Nevermind. This is not the end. And I don't have anymore time to waste too. I need a grip on myself. All these are just words. Words that carry to value at all unless I put them into action. Been watching a new drama lately. About this blind girl joining this piano competition. Some very complicated and weird at times story. My bad command of english simply can't put it into words. Then she began talking about darkness. And how we should know be afraid of darkness cos it's like some comfort blanket that embraces us in times of sorrow, despair and misery. And I find it rather true. Many times we cry in the dark in order to cut off connections with the world outside. Engulf in darkness where vast amounts of negative emotions are allowed. Crap man. If it was Mrs Tham reading this I bet she gave a bloody tick.

plenty of paper

Plenty of Paper- Eisley

Something's growing under that wing
I think a face is dawning
Oh no the bugs are growing faces
And you're lost quite classically
With your nose in a book
And it seems so fitting
And perhaps this is the end we've sought after for so long
And perhaps now it's done
Cause we've found all the dire dreams
Of men and machines and
Turned them all around our
Identical hands
Composing our commands
I cut the moon in half
And stuck a piece to my hair
It made the back of my head glow
Golden yellow and then I took
Ten stars on sticks and placed them in my small metal
Bucket and I gave the other half of the moon to you
Ooh, so you wouldn't forget me while I'm gone
'Cause we found all the dire dreams
Of men and machines and
Turned them all around to
Enjoy them and benefit ourselves
Our paperback books, our charming looks
Our indentical hands
Composing our commands
And oh my love
We can live on the sun
And wouldn't we be attractive
Riding in our shiny motor cars
With eyeglasses full of stars
And plenty of paper for scenery paintings
'Cause we found all the dire dreams
Of men and machines and
Turned them all around to
Enjoy them and benefit ourselves
Our paperback books, our charming looks
Our indentical hands
Composing our commands

Cheryl

Cheryl has just screwed all her papers. I bet she can't wait to see Mrs Teo and drink coffee with her. Cheryl thought she was very smart and tried to study geography and biology in one day. Now I wonder how is she going to take her o's already. She is so "smart". Made alot of mistakes like switching the genders of people in the passages. Now I'm wondering what she is doing with her life man. But I guess she won't die at the end of the day. At least I hope so.